Answer the questions with the songs that are chosen by iTunes in random shuffle mode. I did "massage" the data a little by skipping podcasts and only using the first song that appeared by any one performer.
1. How does the world see you?
Big Bad World One by Jonathan Coulton.
Good start. Sample lyrics: "I quit, I’m done. I don’t think it’s gonna work out OK. It’s no fair and it’s no fun if every time it’s gonna end the same way: Me zero, big bad world one."
2. Will I have a happy life?
Baggy Trousers by Madness.
A fairly upbeat song reminiscing about school days. Sample lyrics: "Oh what fun we had, but at the time it seemed so bad."
3. What do my friends think of me?
Wanderin' by Chris Isaac.
Hmm. That's pretty depressing actually. Sample lyrics: "All the freaks are runnin' round. And I lost every friend I've found. " and, "I have only one regret. I hurt everyone I've met." and, "Here I sit left on my own. What have I done that's so wrong, that I should always be alone."
4. Do people secretly lust after me?
Crosstown Traffic by Jimi Hendrix.
Not sure how to interpret that one. "No," I suppose. Sample lyrics: "But darlin' can't you see my signals turn from green to red? And with you I can see a traffic jam straight up ahead."
5. How can I make myself happy?
Mr. Bass Man by Sha Na Na.
Learn to sing in a really deep voice, it would seem. Sample lyrics: "Hey Mr. Bass Man, I’m askin’ just one thing: Will you teach me? Yeah, will you sing? ’Cause Mr. Bass Man, I wanna be a bass man too."
6. What should I do with my life?
Blue Suede Shoes by Elvis Presley.
Anything I want as long as I avoid standing on the King's footwear. Sample lyrics: "You can burn my house, steal my car, drink my liquor from an old fruitjar. Do anything that you want to do, but uh-uh, Honey, lay off of my shoes."
7. Will I ever have children?
Sunday Girl by Blondie.
I'm going to have a daughter born on a Sunday? Sample lyrics: "When I saw you again in the summertime, If your love was as sweet as mine, I could be Sunday's girl."
8. What is some good advice for me?
Bo Diddley by Buddy Holly.
No idea what iTunes is trying to tell me here. Sample lyrics: "Bo Diddley, Bo Diddley have you heard, my pretty baby says she wants a bird."
9. How will I be remembered?
First Orgasm by the Dresden Dolls.
Um. No comment. Sample lyrics: "The first orgasm of the morning is cold and hard as hell. There won't be any second coming as far as I can tell."
10. What's my signature dancing song?
Red River Rock by Johnny and the Hurricanes.
Interesting. A rock and roll instrumental piece from 1959.
11. What's my current theme song?
I Won't Last a Day Without You by The Carpenters.
That's news to me. Who won't I last a day without? Sample lyrics: "when there's no gettin' over that rainbow, when my smallest of dreams won't come true, I can take all the madness the world has to give, but I won't last a day without you."
12. What do others think is my current theme song?
The Memory of Trees by Enya.
LOL. OK I will admit I did go through an Enya phase a few years ago. I can't quote sample lyrics as I don't recognise the language it's sung in (Gaelic?). She does chant something that sounds like "eyore terra" over and over.
13. What shall they play at my funeral?
Always Look On the Bright Side of Life by Monty Python.
Wow, that's really spooky. This really is the song I want at my funeral. No pre-recorded version either, I want you to get up and sing it. Sample lyrics: "For life is quite absurd, and death's the final word. You must always face the curtain with a bow. Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin. Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow. So always look on the bright side of death, just before you draw your terminal breath."
14. What type of $person(s) of desired gender(s) do I like?
Baby Driver by Simon and Garfunkel.
Interesting. Not sure how to interpret this one. Sample lyrics: "I'm not talking about your pigtails, but I'm talking about your sex appeal. I hit the road and I'm gone. What's my number? I wonder how your engines feel."
15. How's my love life?
Jack in the Green by Coyote Run
No comment. Sample lyrics: "And when a maiden chances by, looks within his greeny eye, her belly soon will swell for all to see. She has no lover lurking by. Though the townsfolk don't believe her cries, it's just old randy Jack, Jack in the green."