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Bigger hammer


I've just had to deal with the first starling-down-the-chimney incident of the year. It went very smoothly. I've learned that it's pointless to open the windows and leave the curtains open because the birds inevitably ignore the tiny opening parts in the top corners and fly straight into the large fixed expanse of glass in the middle. This time I closed the curtains and switched the lights off and let it fly about until it settled into a small dark corner (a gap between my bookcase and the wall) and I was able to get hold of it and carry it outside.


I used to get birds in my room as a child. We just shut the door, turned off the lights, waited for it to perch, then threw a towel over it. That way we could release it from the towel without touching it.

I had birdshit on my lampshade for many years.
birdshit on my lampshade

Sounds like one of the stranger varieties of euphemisms to me :P